I feel so sorry for all of you that my words are not going to adequately express what all my tears have said so well lately. I am so overwhelmed by… well first, thinking of my parents’ anniversary, what a blessing it is to see my parents love one another for so many years. That’s a relationship worth waiting for. It gives me a lot of peace about where I am at. Reading a poem my father wrote to my mother on their anniversary in 1998 began this trend. They’ve taken such good care of us and offered us so many opportunities and so much grace and attention. I was and am overwhelmed thinking about it.
This morning in church, thinking about the cost of discipleship, how he became like us, how we are free to enter the world of the gospel-less to reach them. I was overwhelmed once again. I am not sure what moved me in particular. Nothing specific besides the intensity of being reformed. When God has his hands in my heart, changing the shape of it, opening the doors, and filling me with a new sense of mission, new kingdom passions, it blows my mind and the grateful tears will not stop. The gospel, freedom, the pursuit of Christ, they are such good news. I will walk the paths he is laying out for me. Paths that he has prepared me for.
So now I think our apartment situation is finally going to work out, the move is coming up, and he is making my heart ready to take on his mission in our neighborhood and wherever else he may lead me. I was just recruited to go on mission to France this summer; I would love to see my Dad fall passionately in love with Jesus as he is with my mother; there are some young people in our potential building that I can’t wait to let into my life. The move approaches and Christ is being formed in my heart.
The gospel is so satisfying. I feel better than if I had found the most glorious treasure I could imagine and I will sell myself body and spirit to taste it more fully.
“The Kingdom of Heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field” (Matthew 13:44).