Several months ago, there were some things going on in my life that were painfully tearing at my idols, making me very aware of how uncertain my future is.
I know these seasons are not rare. I suppose many of you can relate. In the place of pain, where deep faith met deep fear, this was my prayer:
Please give me peace.
My fears can only send roots into a soil that has been tilled by lies of Jesus’ insufficiency.
I hate pain. I feel so done with these tears. You purge me of things I still love and hold to, and if you weren’t the one being with whom I know I need to be in relationship, I would hate you for it. Why are you destroying me? Why is it my long, slow death that brings you most to life in me?
I know that gratitude is coming because it always does, but I am angry.
Gratitude came. Deep faith conquered deep fear. I still rejoice in what was won for me in that season. The time expressed in this prayer was the walk in the desert that led to the promised land. Whatever you are going through, fight to believe the truth. Ask for the faith that is beyond what you can muster.
Jesus is enough, and the path you are on is a path to wholeness and healing.