I Need To Start Posting What I Write Again

This is going to be a short update, as most of them have been lately, but I simply must express (though words will surely fail me) how grateful I feel for the life I’ve been placed in and the ability to walk in it gracefully (an ability that is not my own). I really love my sister. I hate the word “really.” Not strong enough. I fucking-fall-on-my-face-and-jump-back-up-again love her. Sorry if the language is a little strong for you. I feel the same about my parents and my roommates and my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s family. I love all of the opportunities I have to let them into my life and expose them to the love that Christ has given me. I am so far from perfect. So far from well-intended. But I still see measures of grace flowing out.

There is a fire in me that I did not light. There is a home around me that I shouldn’t be able to afford. There are people in my life with whom I do not deserve to have friendship. And the friendships I have run deep with a depth I cannot create. We can’t talk without discussing Jesus, his gospel, or concerns about life, love, morality, sexuality, community, friendship, sin, healing, redemption. I even come from a family of people that love one another, with parents totally in love. My church is really trying to be the church.

In the sermon yesterday, Steve said, “What’s your address? You are the pastor there.” I am a missionary. I am responsible for inviting people into my life and investing in them, building them up and caring for their needs. I am full of a love that is not my own and resources that are from God. This is certainly great news.

School is starting and it is weird to know that I’ll be commuting. I’m outside of the “pincone curtain” now. Time to make community happen in the real world, with all the busyness of school threatening to take over. I am excited to figure out this stage of life.

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About Jacquelyn Barnes

Former English Literature and Writing major at Whitworth University. Spanish Language minor. Browne's Addition Resident. Editorial Assistant at Gray Dog Press. Interested in postcolonial, multicultural, and feminist theories. Former ski racer. Longboarder. Runner. Member of Vintage Faith Community Church (we have no building). Painter. Morning person. View all posts by Jacquelyn Barnes

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