Emilie the Sage

Since I first came to know Christ, I feel that I have played the role of sage. And I’ve loved being the quiet wise one to whom everyone seems to look. But I am not always that. Sometimes someone else is that person to me. I remember having long talks about people’s lives with them, especially in high school. Then I would give them some gospel advice, and they would reach for the nearest pen and notepad to record what I’d told them, word for word. That always made me feel so important.

I realized tonight, though, that Emilie does that for me. It is nice to be free to recognize someone else doing what I have sometimes done so well and not feel like my identity is threatened. She can be that person too. I don’t have to always be the wise one to feel okay with myself. I can both bless and be blessed. There is no need to hold myself above her or anyone else.

I don’t think I’ve had that kind of freedom in the past.

The Lord always provides the wisdom I need. Sometimes through my mind, other times through someone else’s. It is a beautiful gift either way.

Today Em was sitting on the floor in front of me while I rubbed her back.

EM: Can we talk about Jesus?

ME: What about him?

EM: How he loves us.

ME: Yes … I don’t know how to start this conversation.

EM: Well I was just thinking about that line in the song “Jesus, I my cross have taken.” It goes, “All must work for good to me.”

ME: Hmm.

EM: That’s crazy. There is nothing that ever happens that isn’t a win for God. He’s just rackin’ them up. And that means everything that happens is a victory for us.

ME: Because we’re on the same team.

EM: It’s like, even when we’re scoring goals for the other side, our team is still winning by so much, we can’t be shaken.

ME: God scored all the goals to infinity about two thousand years ago and people have been scoring for the wrong team ever since.

This is such good news, guys! We’re allowed to be on the winning team. As long as we claim to be on his team… and why would we claim anything but the winning side?

EM: It must suck to be Satan. Every time you think you’ve succeeded it just becomes a bigger loss.

ME: Yeah.

Well that’s about it. I am just so glad I got to feel someone’s joy spill over me. I live  in the same room with that! So good for the soul.

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About Jacquelyn Barnes

Former English Literature and Writing major at Whitworth University. Spanish Language minor. Browne's Addition Resident. Editorial Assistant at Gray Dog Press. Interested in postcolonial, multicultural, and feminist theories. Former ski racer. Longboarder. Runner. Member of Vintage Faith Community Church (we have no building). Painter. Morning person. View all posts by Jacquelyn Barnes

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